Wedding Registry issues

There is a reason most couples now register only at national chain stores. These stores have the wedding registry process figured out and have pretty decent return/exchange policies.

Unfortunately, my home town is about an hour from the nearest city with these national chain stores, and my mom informed me that lots of people don't want to drive that far (and most of these same people either can't/won't use the internet or are afraid to use their credit card online). So I had to register at the small gift shop in my hometown.

They actually carry our dishes and lots of other great stuff, but the problem is this: they didn't have our silverware pattern when I went to register. There was lots of talk about special ordering and such, but I told them not to worry about it. We'd just get our silverware through Dillard's and be done with it.

Oh, how I wish they'd listened. Instead, they took it upon themselves to figure out what pattern we had selected and put it on my registry anyway. But they ordered the frosted set (not the plain shiny style we wanted). I also now have way more silverware than I need or have space for since people got it for us both at this store and at Dillard's.

I've emailed them to ask if I could exchange the frosted stuff and use silverware gift certificates for other items. Here's exactly what I said:

Hi!

I want to make sure I can exchange gift certificates for and settings of silverware for other items on our registry. We have already filled our need for silverware off our Dillard's registry (I didn't actually register for it with you since you didn't have it when I came in). Please confirm that I can make this exchange.

Also, please guide people to our Denby dinnerware. This is the one item we have least of and need the most.

Thanks

I got this response from the owner:

Good morning,

I am very pleased that you received so much of your Lenox flatware from Dillard's. The price makes it a lot easier to sell than the Denby Energy. Unfortunately, I special ordered the Lenox Federal Platinum for you and had it in stock before I received the e-mail from you. I do not require a registered bride to purchase the remainder of what is special ordered for her,
I do request her to keep what has been purchased for her. This has been the policy for several years. Larger stores have the ability to adjust their inventory much easier than a small store does as I cannot return anything unless it is defective. May I suggest you take the stainless to Dillards and apply it to your Denby. Just FYI, the Denby order has not shipped as of today. I always try to put a bride's best interest first and sorry to disappoint you. I will no longer sell the stainless as of today. I appreciate your understanding.

To which I sent this email:

I have some problems with your response. Most notably that I did not officially register for the flatware at your store, so I really shouldn't have this difficulty in the first place. You didn't have the flatware on display so we said we wouldn't worry about it. Secondly, the flatware you special ordered for me was in the frosted style - not what we registered for at Dillard's. I
took back what I received from your store to Dillard's, but they weren't happy to
exchange it for me. I also can't exchange the single serving pieces (I received
two spoons from your store and a certificate for a gravy ladle in frosted) since
Dillard's only sell sets, not separate hostess items. You'll need to take back
the serving spoons and gravy ladle as I have already received the correct style
from the Dillard's registry.

And her response:

I understand your situation, I only wrapped the frosted because the correct pattern did not come in in time for the shower. I told your mom that I had done that so it would make a prettier shower. I am so sorry that you had
the trouble of returning it to Dillards. I would never have had you take the
wrong pattern, no wonder you wanted to apply credit. It seems that we need
to talk. Would you please call me during business hours?

And we're almost done with this, my final response to her tonight. I'm not going to spend my dime to call her long distance about a problem she created in the first place!

I talked to my mom and discovered you have a non-frosted serving spoon to exchange for the frosted one I got at the shower. That's fine. Two serving spoons is ok. However, I don't need two sugar spoons or two gravy
ladles.

To resolve this situation, please credit my registry for one sugar spoon (I'll bring this back to town on Sunday and have one of my parents return it to you Monday), one gravy ladle (I have a gift certificate) and one five piece place setting (I have one outstanding gift certificate). Please let me know the total credit and I will come in at some point to pick out something of equal or near-equal value.

If you need to contact me, you may call me Friday morning before 1 p.m.

Thank you for straightening things out.

Hopefully she'll realize that there is nothing to talk about and she just needs to fix this. I'm not going to beat around the bush or let her bully me (politely) into keeping things I don't want just because she wants to sell more stuff.

Am I totally out of line or is she pulling my chain?

Cool People

I have the best matron of honor ever. She just informed me that she has already prepared thank you notes for the lingerie shower tomorrow that are addressed and stamped. All I have to do is write my personal note inside and they are ready to go. How amazing is that?!?

NYTimes.com: French Family Values

OPINION July 29, 2005
Op-Ed Columnist: French Family Values
By PAUL KRUGMAN
Whatever else you may say about French economic policies, they seem extremely supportive of the family as an institution.

Coming down to the wire

It hasn't been as long as I thought since I last posted.

It's during these busy, stressful times that I know I should post more rather than less. It's hard to remember everything two weeks or a month later.

A week and a half ago, we both went to my hometown to meet with several wedding-related vendors. In about a day and a half we confirmed with the photographer (the man who taught me photography in high school), the caterer, the wedding coordinator, and the florist. We also attended a most fabulous bridal shower at the church hosted by several of the church ladies.

Details:

Photographer: Clay Allen Photography. As I mentioned, he used to teach photography and I took Basic B&W and Basic Color Photography from him in high school. He currently teaches in Tulsa and only does the occasional wedding. There was never any question who I wanted as a photographer and he didn't hesitate to sign on.

Caterer: In the most stunning success of my wedding planning career, I discovered the Catering Connection in Tulsa. They provide restaurant and catering services for the Philbrook Museum of Art in Tulsa and for the Clinton Presidential Library in Little Rock. With these credentials, you wouldn't think my lowish-budget wedding could afford their services, but oh yes, they also do catering on a budget. Included in their extremely reasonable price is a staff person who will stay the entire afternoon to help serve.

Florist: This was another area where no decision had to be made. My dad occasionally helps out at a local shop called the Flowery and rather than payment, he's been reminding them of my upcoming nuptuals. They did a run-through of the table decorations at the shower and I can already tell the flowers will be stunning.

Cake: Miss Laura's Cakes. She also does chocolate covered strawberries. Completely self-taught, she can do virtually any design. I really like supporting local artisans, so I'm glad I found her.

Wedding Night: We'll be staying at the Inn at the Price Tower in Bartlesville on Saturday and Sunday evening. This is where we get to relax.

Honeymoon: Paris and Clermont-Ferrand, France. The tickets have officially been purchased, so we're going. My dad found the best travel website I've seen - Best Travel Store at http://www.bt-store.com/. The only slightly strange part was faxing them the credit card information rather than doing it online, but everything worked out very well and we got very affordable tickets compared to what we'd found on Orbitz and Travelocity. I'm still working on hotels, but I'm confidant of finding a nice, clean, unique hotel in each city at a decent price. I'm referring primarily to Rick Steve's Paris 2005. For anyone who hasn't discovered Rick Steve's, I will vouch for anything they do. My mom, dad, brother and I took their Best of Europe several years ago and had a great time. His books are also some of the best travel guides out there for people who want to see things other than the major tourist traps.


Invitations went in the mail on Saturday. A lot of people have already gotten them, so hopefully, the responses will start rolling in soon.